To cuddle or to be independent

I worked into the Wee hours last night again. I am working so long hours but yet seems to complete so little. The administrative work remains, the proposals not written, the sales not coming, etc... I am getting worried about my own business as the babies seems to be arriving. I think this could be something which many Daddies feel when kids are arriving. They feel the need to provide sufficiently for the family and with pride. I am still letting time flies like nobody's business. Hours by hours, days by days. I really don't know what I am doing.

Felin and I had a short conversation about children sharing room with parents. My idea is that children should move to their own room within 1 years old and we can put a baby monitor to check on them, if necessary. I do not want them to be too used to sleep with the parents because I still want my private life with Felin. I do not want the children to be in between us everyday and like life to be as normal as possible.

As for Felin, she feels that 1 years old is still too young and preferably they should stay until between 2 to 3 years old when they can better take care of themselves. She kept saying, "What if" this and "What if" that, etc... Maybe I just don't like those "What if"... I think we shouldn't be thinking too much lor...

I think I'm probably the type who will prefer children to run in the wild, feeding cats and playing in the rain, not afraid of that little bit of dirt. I want to them to learn appreciate nature, be active and run in the sun. I want them to fall down and learn to stand up. This was how I grew up, I was independent from young. I remembered playing with cats everyday on the void deck when I was like 7-8 years old. I remembered playing in the mud and rain while in primary school (Pity my mother because I was so dirty and smelly). I remembered taking bus alone, travelling all the way from Bedok to Bukit Timah Hill with just a friend while as young as 10-11 yrs old, sneaking to swim in public pool without parents knowledge (Opps.. Naughty boy!)...

But of course, being independent doesn't mean I will care less about them. I still hope to be a Father whom they will respect and consult. Be a good friend to them and they loving me and Felin back. I also have to lead them in Godly ways to ensure who is in control in their life.