Forgoing my free Lucerne and Barcelona convention trips

Felt very disappointed that I have to forgo my 2 free Europe trips in October. I have been praying over if I should go and when Felin asked me today, "If you think that is more important, then you go ahead. You decide" I think the answer is obvious from her reply. She is comparing what is more important now. Her or my free trips.
Actually what I see is that she will be in 26th week pregnancy by then and she should be fine. If I am to choose only go for one of the trip, it should be okay, isn't it? But after seeing that she hasn't really got over the nausea spell lately and she had been moody due to her work stress in office, I have to make a decision once and for all so as not to think about it again.

While everyone in the office are talking about extension after the trips and what they are going to do, I am the only one who have to stay back here. I actually feels tired after all my long hours work over all these months and want to get out of the house and be refreshed on my own. Going on trips with company is different compared to with family because I can don't talk and do my own thing throughout the trip when with company but with family, I have to stay focus throughout the trip. I always be able to complete a few books and have fresh ideas whenever I comes back from overseas company trip.

I think I will feel disappointed for a long time to come but I have no choice because Felin cannot accept staying home alone without me. She commented "What if" I this or that and you are not around, blah blar blar...? I sometimes really don't like those "What ifs". Just like how I forgo my free Tokyo trip last year because she said "What if there are still radiation?"... I also forgo my Goldcoast and Yogyakarta Borodudur Trips last year mainly because she wasn't happy that I go and she have to pay a large sum of money to accompany me.

Its just wishful thinking that she will tell me "Dear, you had worked hard for the whole year. You deserve these coming Lucerne or Barcelona incentive trips that your company had rewarded you. I hope you will be more refreshed after the trip and able to come back with fresh ideas on how to run your business. I can take care of myself well when you're not around... Love you much... Enjoy!!!"