1 week passed with ease

Its weekend again and time passed really fast. I'd went back to work on Monday but not on full steam yet. I worked half day most of the time and with 2 days of long meetings. Mother in law came back to help us since Tuesday and she had really helped us a great deal. To the extent that I don't even need to change a single diaper till today. She stayed overnight with us and helped us with the night feeds. She is attentive to the babies noises, makes sure they drank the right volume at the right temperature. She can hold the babies for long period just to ensure that they burp. As for my mum, she helped with the groceries and with some of the afternoon feeds. She loves playing with the babies but definitely not as patient as MIL. Mother and I are just similar, we always want to get a job done fast.

For the whole week, we were just busy feeding the babies every 2-3 hourly, coaxing them to sleep especially in the evening, changing diapers almost after 1-2 feeds, expressing milk, and bringing them to see doctor, etc... As they have a bit of nappy rash, we decided to use cloth diaper during the day. This created a bit more washing on the CL side.
The confinement auntie helped with the cooking, laundry, all the babies and mummy's needs. She even cooked meals for us. I helped with the installation of the roller curtains at our balcony, arranged with the admin stuffs and took lots of pictures and videos. I had also arranged for the delivery of the Jubilee baby gift package that arrived on Tuesday morning.

We went for Josiah's jaundice check on Wednesday and glad that both their jaundice are officially below 100 and we do not need to go polyclinic again till CNY eve for their Hep B vaccination. We also went for the NUH check-up on Friday and had challenging day bringing both babies out and making sure they sit quietly on the car seat. During the wait, we need to go nursery room to feed the babies and Felin need to express the milk in it. Glad that everything ended within 4 hours and we need not prepare for the next feed in the hospital.

As for this weekend, its time that I got to learn from MIL and the confinement lady. It will be only Felin and I by the time they leave. Although our domestic helper is coming, its in the very near future that we will get busy again. Meanwhile, we just focus on playing with the babies and coaxing them to sleep. Both of them are really active and refuses to sleep. They can be quite cranky in the evening too. I initially just refuses to carry them and wanted to challenge them to cry, thinking that its not good to carry babies too often as they will get used to it. However, after much reading on web about babies and their needs, I decided to carry them more often before they start the loud crying. They are nevertheless babies and less than 2 weeks old. I will leave the discipline part in the later part.

Sunday - A guest visiting day

There are so many things I thought of pinning in this blog over the past days but simply can't remember them whenever I'm in front of the computer.

We celebrated Felin's birthday together with the babies for the first time. I ordered the cake from Patisserie Glace and I drove all the way to Novena Square to collect the cakes, just in time to arrive while our parents and some of my relatives are still around to sing the birthday song. At least there are some surprise element for Felin. We were finally able to get Ah Ma to take picture with the babies today. I also made a little declaration on Facebook that I'll give Felin exclusive birthday celebrations in future and not with the kids.

Other members who visited us include some of our cell members, Hui Min, Isa and Lucas. Even neighbours will look into our house and congratulate us outside.

The past few days have been really tiring, we were struggling to supply sufficient breast milk for the babies and yet we wanted them to continue experience latching on to the mother. The babies are so sleepy and will latch on for at least an hour each and yet they are sleeping 80% of the time. Its too tiring and time consuming especially that they need a feed every 2-3 hours. If we are to latch, it means mother have to latch 24 hours a day. We are left with no choice but to supplement with formula milk to meet their demand. Their appetite seems to increase very quickly and the supply of BM are not increasing at the same pace. This increase of appetite did make us be more conscious about overfeeding of babies.

We took care of them for only 7 days now, moreover with a confinement lady and I felt so tired already. I sometimes wonder what will happen after the CL left.
I try to help Felin to the best I can especially towards breastfeeding. This is the best gift that the mother can give to the children and I must be supportive towards her in this aspect. I make sure I sterilise and assemble the breast pump. I also help plan the babies feeding schedule and allocate the milk between FM and BM. I will encourage her continuously.

Other things I do include feeding the babies from bottle occasionally, recording all the feeding and pooing time. I also do all the paperwork such as
Driving them to polyclinic for checkup,
Running errands such as buying whatever thing they lack,
Bringing mother to see doctor for her constipation,
Unpacking and organising all the gifts
To do the birth certificate,
Organising the health book,
Applying for the CDA account,
Checking and applying the paternal leave,
Organising all the photos in my camera and hp as well as
Recording what happening in my blog and facebook, etc...

Yet at the same time, I try to do a bit of my office work.

The babies are really adorable but Josiah is a bit less responsive to our calls and his development is still not as fast as Joshua. His feeding time is a bit irregular and his tender skin are somehow peeling off at some parts. We will need to give him more attention at the moment.

I'll continue to pray for them daily together with Felin. We pray for theirs and our health as well as giving us the mental and physical strength to take care of them.

Family united finally

Time is going fast and furious. We are entering the 6th day as parents. Let me update what happened over the past few days.

Felin was discharged on the 15th Jan together with Joshua. We were also glad that Josiah is out of NICU and back to the Rainbow Nursery. He was expected to stay back at least one more day for observation. When we settled the bill, Josiah's additional expenses comes up to nearly $3,800. Haiz, not choice, just got to pay and move on. Just be glad that he is healthy.

It was good that the first day was only with Joshua as he allowed us to practice before Josiah arrives. We also make use of Joshua to stimulate for more Breastmilk. Felin's bm flow were still quite low even at Day 4 and we were still using syringe to suck every drop that comes from her. We also had a lot of problem latching because Joshua wasn't too cooperative and refuse to latch. He was also very sleepy and kept sleeping once he got latched. Felin and I was still joking that next time we must tell how difficult it was to let Joshua the sleepy baby drink milk.

Our confinement lady arrived at 6:30pm on 15th Jan. We were somehow worried whether she will put aeroplane on us after we paid that $1k deposit. She is an Indonesian Chinese and have been a nurse for over 10 years prior becoming a confinement lady. She claimed to have experience with Twins as well. She did helped us in some ways but seems a bit blur. Hopefully the next few weeks will just get better.

The night was long because Joshua woke up every hour to ask for milk because he was so difficult to get latched and he is such a sleepy baby. No matter how we tickle or call him, he will just continue with his sleep. We can stipe him and he will still be able to sleep. Even when the nurse pricked him to check his jaundice, he was still sleeping and hence not cry at all. He is a baby with a high threshold for pain. We barely slept and finally succumbed and gave him formula milk at 5am. Even with milk bottle, he still can doze off without finishing the bottle with his mouth still in the teat. Give up...

We brought Joshua for his first Polyclinic check-up in the morning and his jaundice level is still quite high at 183 but glad that its not high enough to warrant him going back to NUH. While on our way back, NUH called to inform that Josiah was able to return home. We were so overjoyed. We also managed to get their Birth Certificate done up on the same day.

First Family Photo

We were back with Josiah at about 3pm. Aunt, Sister, Niece, Dad and Mum came visit us again and play with the babies.

The thoughts kept coming to my mind that the babies will grow so fast and I will miss them at this baby stage and that's why I kept taking pictures of them whenever opportunities arises. They looked so adorable to me now but I may not be able to say the same maybe 2 years down the road. I just have to say, "Enjoy while I still can". I was also trying to remember how I feel being a new father and how I try to love them unconditionally. I want to remember how I speak to them into their eyes daily, prayed over them before they sleep and sign lullabies to them whenever I have the chance. I want them to know how I love my family and set good example for them in future.

Yawning at the same time.

Sigh of Relief for Josiah

I had a difficult time sleeping last night as I worry about Josiah's health. The NICU doctor told me that the pressure of his lung is slightly high and an X'ray was done to check condition. They also suspect lung infection and a blood test need to be done. The only "not to good" result is the blood test result shows that he is ino ccheck fected with some bacteria and another blood test was done which require 48 hours before result can be known. He was also found to have Jaundice and need phototherapy. He is currently being treated with antibiotics until the blood test result is known.

When Felin visited him in the afternoon, he was out of the oxygen support, drip, antibiotics and the tube that draw liquid out of his airway. The only tube she saw was the wires that around his body check heartbeat and pressure and the phototherapy lights. Even with this, Felin cried. I can't imagine how she will feel if she is to see all the wires yesterday.

It was really a sign of relief to see Josiah is getting better. His Jaundice dropped, he ate and pooed well. He still looks skinny and only started to receive some breast milk from Mummy today.

I went to learn baby bathing today and had a lot of experimenting with Felin about Breast Feeding. Her perseverance pays off as the milk started to flow from Day 3. There was nothing, absolutely nothing for the initial 3 days. We kept using Joshua to stimulate her breast and making his suck every few hours. We also use the breast pump and hand to message the breast for milk.

I am back home today as MIW stayed with Felin. Gave me some time to check my emails and write my blog today. Tomorrow going to be Discharging day but Josiah is unlikely able to discharge with us. Got to come back, likely only on Friday. Hope Josiah is able to get out of NICU soon. I understand it cost me $2,000 per day on NICU.

First night as a Daddy

Family members visited the babies last night and Felin's family are last to go at abt 10:30pm. we then tried feeding both babies for about an hour only to be defeated by them again. Joshua don't even open his mouth or simply refuse to suck and Josiah strangely will sleep once he is latched. We don't really know if he is really sucking. We finally decided to call it a day at 12+.

We asked the nurses to push both babies into nursery after our attempt to sleep with them in the initial half an hour. We managed to catch a short nap at 12:30am.

We woke up again when the nurse came in at 1:30am to check on Felin and changed the liquid by her bed. The nurse again came in at 3am and brought Josiah to feed. Josiah is really difficult to feed and we failed after an hour attempt. Joshua came in at 4am and we tried again. We failed and gave up at 5am.

Josiah went back to nursery due to noises during breathing and Joshua stayed in the room with us. For the next few hours, Joshua stayed wide awake and constantly seek attention. We took this chance to latch him but failed again. He only wants to sleep with mummy. He sucked a little bit and fell asleep on Felin's bed.

I woke up at 7am and went for my breakfast. I succumbed to the calls of Joshua and carried him a few times. He looks just too adorable to me when he keep staring at me. I think this will be an issue in days ahead...

In morning during the doctor's rounds, he informed us that Josiah need to be sent to NICU for observation. It is likely an airway problem or lung issue. Need to observe and perhaps do an X'ray. No result yet at point I wrote this post in the NICU Waiting area. Just pray everything will be fine.

The D Day and the babies arrival

We woke up at 6am and got ready for our journey to NUH as we were supposed to reach the place by 7:30am. I had a really late night but was in good spirit knowing that I'm going to see the babies soon and life will be different in the next few hours.

 

We reached NUH at about 7:40am and waited in the ward for the operation. I went for my breakfast before Felin was pushed to the operating theatre at about 10am. I accompanied her and waited for her at a designated waiting area. We were excited and jovial and knew that the babies are arriving soon. We were still joking on the way to the O.T.

 

 

At 10:30am, which is the supposedly operation time, I was anxious at the waiting area waiting to be called in but at about 10:40am, there was still no one calling me and the screen showed that Felin were already in the operating theatre. I was nervous and walked into the Delivery Suite to ask how I can get into the operating theatre. The nurses were very patient and guided me to the location and helped explain to the nurses there. I was asked to dressed up and wait outside the theatre.

 

 

After a short prayer, a nurse came out and asked if I am ready. I said yes and was guided into the theatre. The theatre definitely don't looks friendly with all the equipment and the doctors/surgeons dressed in green and blue. I sat beside Felin and held her hand. I tried to look across the green cloth to see what is happening behind it and I managed to catch a glimpse of Doctor Su cutting Felin's skin and blood started to flow. Another doctor then stand in my view and I can't see across anymore. He don't seems friendly and asked me to sit down.

 

As time passed with the sound of the equipment, I saw Doctor Su discussing something with the other doctors around and she started pushing here and there on Felin's body. The operating table was shaking and I looked at Felin to see if she is feeling anything. She looks okay but I am very worried because I saw the surgeons seemingly struggling to pull the babies out and with so much movement on the table. I can also see a lot of blood in Felin's body. This was definitely not what I saw in youtube about C-Section Delivery.

The moment finally came and we heard the cries of the babies. The operation took less than 10 minutes, I supposed. I was really relieved and saw how adorable the babies were. I was still nervous and ask if I can start taking photos. I took out my phone to take video first but I missed the crucial 15 seconds because I took a photo thinking that I was taking video. Anyway, I still managed to take many pictures in that short 3-4 minutes

 

Babies was born healthy at 10:53 and 10:54am. Dr Su delivered the smaller sized breeched baby Josiah first and his weight is 2.22kg. Joshua followed suit and his weight is 3.07kg. Their weight variance surprised us.

 

 

Felin was still on the surgical table to get stitched as I updated her about the babies weight and what was happening around in the theatre. The babies were then brought near to her and she touched them before the babies are brought out to another area for further check-ups. Before leaving, I just held on to Felin's hand to assure her that Babies were really beautiful and we finally made it till today.

 

 

I accompanied the babies to another waiting area in the delivery suite as another doctor was doing some tests. I took plenty of pictures while in the room, still feeling excited about their arrival.
 

 

The top picture is Elder Brother Josiah and below is Joshua.

 

After about 45 minutes, I was guided to the recovery area to meet Felin. She was shivering quite badly when I saw her and an infra lamp was shining on top of her. I was worried but was assured that its the side effect of the epidural that caused the shivering. As Josiah was smaller, he was pushed to the nursery first to be fed immediately while Joshua was pushed to Felin's side and they had their first Skin to Skin contact. Felin was still shivering and numbed all over but Joshua managed to feed from Felin for the very first time. That was an memorable moment indeed.

 

 

After about half an hour, I was asked to proceed back to the Ward 9a bed 17 (Kent Ridge Wing) and I waited for her arrival. Felin reached the place about half an hour later and the babies were pushed in very shortly.

 

 

 

It was about 2:15pm when Felin reached the ward and I was busy all the way from that point . I need to attend to Felin's needs and to do whatever I can to make her feel comfortable. I was also busy sending messages to family members and some friends about the babies arrival and transferring pictures from my canon camera to my Samsung phone so that I can watapps them. I also need to coordinate the guest's visiting date/time and spread them out over the few days.

 

 

My brother was here too but he does not like to take picture. Felin's parents were the last to come and leave at about 11am.
 

This is the start of our parenting journey and we spent our first night as parents of twins.

Our final night together before babies cries fill the house

Its 1:30am of 12th January 2015 and we have to wake up at 6am tomorrow. We need to reach NUH by 7:30am. The estimated arrival date of the babies will be 10:30am. It is 9 hours more before we meet the babies. Felin is sleeping soundly in the room as I am busy writing my last post before the babies arrive. From 15th January onwards, their cries will fill my house and this house will be different from what I'm experiencing now.

Let me update what happened on our last day as a couple.

We went for 2nd Service in Church as we decided 2 more hours. Today's message by John Koe was quite timely as he spoke about Shabbat, Shemitah and Yobel. In short, its like on the 7th day, we rest for God, on the 7th year, we give back to God what we made and after 7 Shemitah, its time we reset our life and give everything back to God. He answered my worries about my capability to be a good father and told me that my life will be reset tomorrow and give everything back to him. I just have to trust in him. This little house of mine will be the altar to worship God, together with Joshua and Josiah in future. As a Father, I am an important person in the family in guiding them towards not only physical but also spiritual growth. Felin and I have a wonderful prayer together before she goes to bed and I must keep it this way.

After service, I cooked lunch and did our final packing such as sterilising the bottles, breastpumps equipment and ensure whatever needed are in the hospital bag. We also clear the baby room to be more spacious for the confinement lady when she arrives on 15th Jan. We looks ready at least.

We then took some final pictures of Felin's pregnancy. We had been taking pictures every month of her tummy over the last 9 months and for this time, she insisted that I joined her and took off my clothes. I obliged of course. (Not sure if she will mind me putting this picture. Will be taken down soon if she is shy about it... haha...)

 

We then rested for a while before proceeding for dinner. Our final dinner is at Ootoya, Changi City Point. Felin didn't manage to get her favourite dish but we enjoyed it overall. Its really Yummy and definitely a worthwhile meal before Felin start fasting from 12am onwards.

 

 

I also went back Mum's place for a while and Dad managed to find a baby photo of myself.

 

 

I'll use this picture to see if any of my babies will look like me.

 

Joshua, Josiah, we will see both of you tomorrow. I know both of you are still very comfortable in Mummy's womb but its time to see the world. Well done to hold on till 38th weeks 2 days...

Our Babies at week 38

As we approaches the D-Day, Felin and I kept telling the babies that they had done well. They are indeed blessed babies who are able to hold this long in Felin's body. God had blessed us with the babies and he will surely provide them with good health and joy. At this stage, we have faith and the delivery will be smooth and babies be born healthy. Felin will surely have enough milk supply for them so that they can absorb the best nutrients from the mother's milk. God will also provide us with the financial and psychological capability to take care of them in the near future.
Our faith is simple because we believe the babies are from him and he will not bring anything that are no good to us.

Felin's movement are getting slower over the last few days because Josiah had started to move downwards even though he is in breech position. With Felin's left calf still in pain, she is having difficulty moving around at this stage. We are just glad that it will be over in the next 2 days and the challenges ahead are now different.

So what is actually happening on the 38th week?

During the 38th week of pregnancy, the baby’s systems and functions continue to increase. These include:

• The baby’s organ functions refine when you are 38 weeks pregnant.
• His nervous system functions increase.
• His brain helps him refine breathing, improve digestion, regulate his heart rate, and prepare for eating during the 38th week of pregnancy.
• The baby might pass solid waste, called meconium, prior to delivery.
• He has reached what will likely be his birth length.

From what I know, baby is now the size of a pumpkin...

The final countdown

Felin went for her final check-up on Friday. She did the CTG scan during this final check-up. Cardiotocography or CTG is a test usually done in the third trimester of pregnancy. It is done to see if our baby's heart beats at a normal rate and the test will measure her Braxton Hicks contractions. Braxton Hicks contractions are light contractions that her uterus has in preparation of labour.

I only drove her to NUH for this scan because I have to attend my Army Briefing at the Singapore Red Cross in the afternoon. Dr Su confirmed that our babies will get to see the world on 12th January about 10:30am. We are less than 3 days before the change of our status to parenthood.

I had also cleared all my work on Friday and I will likely stay home till 22nd January. I am going to be fully focused to learn the basics of being the babies caregiver for the first few days and will work light over the next few days before I get back to office. Hope I can have a short break during this period.

On Saturday morning, we had a lengthy discussion about selection of domestic helper and we decided on a Filipino helper called Ann Marie. She is 34 years old with 2 relatively young children. She did not work as a domestic helper before but was in a catering business before. We selected her because she followed up with our call and questions during the interview process.

After that, we went to Loyang Industrial Park to try the famous duck rice. The roasted duck was unfortunately sold out but we ate the roasted chicken instead. Its one of the food that we have been wanting to try and finally we ate the alternative version.

We went back for a short rest and cleaning up the house before Felin gets hungry again. I chopped ginger and made dumplings for her.

We then went to watch our last movie "Night in the Museum 3" together as a couple before the children arrives. We had watched the previous two episode and we decided to watch the third. Not as funny as the previous 2 movies.

I then went back to Parent's place to do my packing in their house and I decided to throw all my Polytechnic and University books. I felt a bit sad to let go all these books and all my memories about these books but I got to make this choice as need to clear more space for the children soon. During the packing today, I did have a good chat with my parents at home.

What a packed and meaningful day. Felin will just be resting tomorrow and catch up with all the sleep she need before the D-Day.

Treasuring my days of long hour work

I haven't been doing much in preparation for my fatherhood over the past few days. I have been so busy trying to complete my work as if I am going for a long holiday. I'm trying to clear my proposals, submissions, claims, administrative issues and continue to go for my HR and client's meetings.

While writing this, its nearly 3:30am and I'm still on my laptop. Tomorrow, I still need to wake up at as early as 8am and go for 2 appointments in the morning and afternoon. My time used to be 60% work and 40% family in the past and from 12th January onwards, my time for work have to reduce to probably 40% work and 60% family. My lifestyle need to change and my productivity need to improve.

On Friday, I will need to drive Felin for Medical appointment and go for my Half day Army briefing in the afternoon. I don't have much time left to complete whatever I set out to do.

Its only 4 days before a life changing event. Even till today, I still don't feel ready for the change. The day I need to be more patient and understand that my working hours are reduced. I will miss my long hours of work as a workaholic.

I will hope to spend a good last weekend with my wife as a couple. My Panda eyes days are coming...

D-Date moved to 12th January 2015

We went for our routine check-up on 2nd January and relieved to hear the babies heart-beats again. Felin was asked to do an ultrasound for her legs because Dr Su afraid of Deep Veins Thrombosis not only before birth but after birth as well. Felin's legs are quite swollen with her calves at 38cm and she is limping due to her painful left calf. Her calves are not thicker than mine which is at 35cm.

We met the financial counsellor about our delivery date and ward choice. We asked for 10th January (Saturday) and found out that 10th January delivery will be about $4k more than a normal weekday delivery because we need to get many people to come back work for us on a weekend. We were also advised that manpower is better on weekdays than weekend and if emergency is needed, there will be more people to help.

We asked for 9th January but Dr Su's appointment are all full on 9th Jan. We prefer not to go for 8th January because we want the babies to be at least 38 weeks full. Eventually we opted for 12th January operation. We have to go for C-Sect because Josiah is in Breech position and Joshua is above him. This combination make it too dangerous for natural birth.

We are just 8 days for them to arrive and God is good that he allows me to complete whatever work I need to do and let me clinched a few more sales before the babies arrive. If they are to come on 5th January (The original Date we thought to be the D-Date), I will be caught unprepared for sure.

Over the past few days, I am again arranging everything in the babies' room and trying to throw all the useless stuffs in the house. The curtain man also came to measure our balcony to prepare the installation of outdoor roller blind on 20th January. I also went parents place to throw all my old books and files so as to prepare the room for the babies. They may need to go parent's place on some of the days and after Felin gets back to work. We also went to the nearby maid agency to check out on the Philippine maid packages. Felin interviewed one on Saturday and will interview 2 more next week. We need to settle on the maid thingy soon.

Felin will be going for a Cardiotocography or CTG scan on 9th January where we can see how much the babies will kick and move in her womb but I will need to miss it because of a half day reservist that I need to go. What a shame that I need to miss it. Anyway I can claim $100+ for the half day reservist and let me earn back some money after spending so much on medical bills lately.

The preparations are getting more intense now but I still have a lot more to go in my workplace. Need God's to give me the wisdom and time management abilities to settle all these within a week.

Our last new year eve celebration as a couple

We nearly went A&E on Christmas Eve but we can't escape for New Year Eve. Felin's leg gets so painful that she can't stop worrying. We afraid that it could be a condition which we are not aware of or its the symptom of a bigger problem. To be on the safe side, we travelled all the way to NUH for check-up. Fortunately the waiting time is less than an hour and the doctor gave us more assurance that everything is okay. Just need plenty of rest and apply some cream to reduce the pain. Felin commented that the wheelchair is very comfy to sit on. With her painful legs, how I wish I can have a wheelchair to push her around for the moment until the babies arrive.

 

We went for a nice fish soup at Bukit Merah for lunch before returning home as I get back to work. There was so much work in the office and I can't deny the stress I'm having right now especially that the babies are coming and I still can't clear my work. Can't stop worrying about this too...

 

Anyway, I still ensure I get back early to plan our last meal of the year. Felin had a craving for steamboat and we proceed to Tampines Mall Suki Yaki for Dinner. We spent a good 2 hours in the restaurant.

 

The meal is not fantastic but we are overall satisfied with it. Somehow not too happy that the meal cost $34 each for a buffet that don't have much varieties.

We got back home, rested and cleaned up the house to usher the new year. We confirmed that our babies will be SG50 Babies after today. The babies are especially excited that they kept kicking Felin today. I think they know that its New Year day and wants to celebrate with us. We do not have champagne or wine but we have Longan as our New Year drink today.

Felin and I have another 10 more days to get ready for our Parenthood promotion. We can only ask God to help and protect us everyday...