Sleep - Swim - Sea

Joshua and Josiah are growing so fast that I always forgot what I want to write in my blog. I am really eager to record their new skills, new words spoken, new expressions, etc... Felin and I will laugh over some of their things they do and things that they surprises us with but I always forgot what are the things that make me laugh the very next day. This journey is getting really amazing and I'm loving it somehow. (minus the sleepless nights)

Felin tried to let the brothers to sleep together in the same room last weekend and its really killing us. For the first night, the 4 of us slept in the children's room. They are not in mood of sleeping when we are around and kept running around the room. When they finally settled down, they woke up like 3-4 times in the night. Josiah like to turn and twist around the whole room and it wakes Joshua up. Joshua likewise wakes up once or twice a night and when he does, he will wake Josiah up. In short, we don't have a good night sleep. On the second night, we tried it in our room and we suffered too. When Josiah realised that Joshua is sleeping on the bed, he shouted for us to carry him onto the bed too and when he is on the bed, he will turn and twist until Joshua can't sleep and we can't sleep too. We were so tired the next morning and decided to try again only on weekends.

We brought the boys for a swim 2 Saturdays ago and they really love it. They were so excited throughout the 1 hour water play and Joshua cried when we tried to bring them up from the pool. They were really funny and was already so fascinated with the floats at home even before going down the pool itself.

We also brought them to the Punggol Jetty Point to enjoy the seabreeze and to see the horses at the Gallop Stable. They really enjoyed watching the horses and rabbits feeding session. They also enjoyed the sunset and seeing the boats at the jetty as well as the people fishing and playing by the beach. It was an enjoyable evening.

The Father's guilt

Joshua usually wake up at 6:45am and as he slept with us, he will mingle with me in the master room when Felin gets herself ready for work. We will wait for Josiah to wake up before we open the door for him to join in. They will drink their morning milk and I will play with both of them for a while after that. By 7:35am, I'll drive Felin to MRT station and be back around 8am. I'll then wash up and get into my work attire. By 8:30am, I'll then go through the flashcards or books and spend some time playing with them till 9am when my parents arrive. Once the play room is opened, they will start roaming around the house while I have breakfast. After breakfast, they will go down for their daily walk with my parents and I'll be off to work.

The only time I spent with them are the short half an hour before I drive Felin to work and the half an hour before my parents arrive. If I am required to go office early, I'll not have that precious half an hour to go through the flashcards or books with them. By the time I finished work and reached home at 9:30pm or 10pm, the boys will already be in bed. I have no idea what they are doing from the time I left house to the time they sleep.

The guilt is always I failed to spend enough quality time with them especially when I have early meetings or trainings to attend. By evening, I always struggled between having to complete my work, to arrange for appointments or just go home and play with the boys. I alway chose the first 2 but try to do the 3rd at least once a week. However when I'm busy, I can't even come back home early for even 1 weekday night. This makes me somehow unhappy at times. Felin slept early at times with the boys and hence when I'm home, the house can be dead quiet.

Weekends seems to be the only time I can spend time but Saturdays morning and afternoon are always lined up with appointments as some clients can only meet me on weekends. I'll then arrange to go shopping in the evening and dinner with the boys at some nearby shopping centres. On Sunday, it will be church in the morning, lunch somewhere before they go for their afternoon nap. After nap, its feeding time and off we go somewhere again in the evening till after dinner. Its like a full day with them and I'm always happy for Sundays.

Thereafter, the routine of weekdays repeat again. Felin sometimes described me as a weekend husband and I felt its quite true. Well, I think such Father's Guilt happens to a lot of fathers out there who have to manage their work and family. I always feel that I am not managing my time well and are not productive at work.

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Over the weekend, we went back Malaysia to spend time with Felin's family. They also had their haircut at one of the salon. They surprised me that they did not cry or struggled but sat on the plank quietly throughout around 5-6 minutes. Good job, boys... Loving both of you more daily... Both of you are really growing so fast and I know I'll miss this period very soon...

Some Updates

Time flies and I didn't realise that I missed writing on this blog for more than 2 weeks. So many things seems to happen and I can't really remember the details after few days. Lets have an update.

14th May marks the 14th year Felin and I started dating. I still think this is the best thing that happened to me when she said "Yes" to be my girlfriend. She is a very intelligent lady who managed to make me feel intelligent myself though I'm sure she smarter than me. In my younger days, I would never dare to think that I'll have a pretty girlfriend who are not without suitors. She chose me 14 years ago and I still remembered the joy today. We had lunch at the Stadium and went for a massage at Marine Parade that day...

We took a selfie with the Kallang River as backdrop and the Tanjung Rhu area. Both of us were thinking if we can ever afford a house there. We love the environment. May this be our dream home.

On the 16th May, Felin went for a business trip over 5 days and I came home earlier everyday over the week and slept with Joshua during this period. Joshua usually wakes up in the middle of the night and luckily he did not cry when he couldn't find mummy. Daddy is okay too. lol... I survived that 5 days. Phew...

Firefly finally sent the photos to me for the shoot at MacRitchie Reservoir last month and i'm quite satisfied with the quality of the pictures considered that I only paid $99 for the outdoor package. They took about 200+ photos for us with 50 edit ones sent to us.

Joshua's speech is getting better. He can say Mama, YeYe, Amen, Bao Bei, etc... He can imitate quite a few of our speech already. Josiah is a bid behind but we know that he is learning quietly behind us.

My Glenn Doman cards aren't working on them. I couldn't grab their attention well and they always run away whenever I flashed the cards. I was thinking how heartache I will be if I am to send them for the Shichida class and they just don't want to focus at all. Each class cost $200 for both of them and a term of 10 weeks will cost $2,000.

The intensity of toy fighting gets heavier nowadays with both their weapon which are their teeth. They really bite and it is quite painful if we got bitten by them. They like to throw their toys and run round the house the whole day long. They shout for attention and cry loud when they can't get what they want. I really need to instill some discipline in the family soon. Can't be the good man all day long now...

Happy Mother's Day

Its Felin's 2nd Mother's Day Celebration. It will be another 2-3 years before the boys celebrate with her with the knowledge that its Mother's Day. Its always a good reminder how hard our mothers had painstakingly nurtured us over all these years.

We went back Malaysia over the weekend without the Sarong rack this time and certainly reduced a lot of things to carry in the vehicle. The boys had officially quit the Sarong and I'm happy about it. My Living room is now back to the spacious mode. Its somehow still challenging to pacify them to sleep in the same room as they kept running around when they are together, making naps difficult.

The boys are now fighting more and I think I have lots of teaching to do in years ahead. They normally refuse to share toys and will try to snatch from each other. Eg, they were both playing Lego sets today and Joshua try to snatch from Josiah even though the legos were everywhere. Josiah became irritated and took one lego and hit Joshua's head. Joshua was unhappy and retaliated and took another lego to hit back Josiah after a while after I scolded Josiah. When I was trying to push back Joshua, Josiah lurch forward to bite Joshua. I was so shocked.

Anyway, we had a good time with our families. We visited a flower fair and had plenty of good food in Malaysia. We then came back home to have a little celebration with Mum at Sister's place. The boys were really tired and had a good nice sleep.

 

HOT

Ann was feeding Joshua porridge yesterday and Joshua started to make loud noises. Ann asked "What Happened?" and Joshua replied "HOT"!.

Josiah passed his new water bottle to Joshua and asked him to open. Joshua pushed back the water bottle and shake his head and replied "Eh Eh"... He knows that he also don't know how to open.

Both boys are starting to sleep without the Sarong during afternoon nap. We had kept one of the Sarong and the other one remains. They are starting to eat more of our food but getting more active as well.

They are giving us surprises almost every few days.

We celebrated Dad's actual day birthday on 28th April by singing birthday song, with birthday cake and a birthday gift. I really hope he enjoyed himself and is happy.

As for today 30th April, we went for an outdoor photoshoot at MacRitchie Reservoir. Will update some of the pictures when its ready. We were really fortunate that the rain stopped just before we start the photoshoot. It was pretty humid and tiring. Joshua cried during the last part of the photoshoot because he was either afraid of the monkeys or afraid of the noise made by the remote quadcopters. Think the result of the photoshoot will be somehow so so.

The boys are growing so fast

I thought I stopped writing for a long time until I realized that my last blog post was just 9 days ago. Time passes amazingly quickly and the boys are growing so fast that I seem to miss their new milestones.

Joshua are starting to blabber instead of the usual "Kar Kar" or "Pa Pa". He can respond to simple instructions like "Put your pacifier there" and "Hug Hug", etc... When I called "Hug Hug", he will come over to hug me and replied "Hug Hug". That was so sweet of him. He like to tap on his chest like "scare scare" and when we asked "Why you scare?", he will laugh over it.

Josiah is able to accurately point to me on his mat where the apple, zebra, monkey, balloon, etc... to me and when I asked where the rabbit ear, he will raise up his hands over his head trying to imitate rabbit ears. Every morning, when I went out to greet him, he will never fail to smile at me. He is really a sweet boy though a bit "Stubborn" at times.

Both of them like to walk around the house that mum always have to follow them, fearing that they will trip and hurt themselves. They are now able to play together but occasionally pull each other's hair or bite each other. Its really difficult to teach on this part about not hitting each other as they don't seems to understand that its not right. They like to snatch each other's toys and fighting often start from there. Their appetite are back to normal and thank God for the good health they are enjoying now. No flu, fever or running nose, etc...

Last Saturday, we brought them to a one hour playgroup at Leap Schoolhouse near my place for 4 trial lessons at $100 each child. Hence I will be bringing them over the next 4 Saturdays and probably sacrifice my usual Saturday morning appointments. Its my desire to be with them and learn together.
They learn to play some toys with animals and their first time doing paintings. There are also music, dancing, reading of books, etc... They then had a short session of gym where they just ran around the place and enjoy themselves. I find the 1 hour session at only $25 pretty okay and I have fun with the boys as well.

On Sunday, we went for an early Birthday Celebration for Dad because sister will be going to Nepal for mountain climbing this Friday. We had a relaxing time at Uncle Leong Seafood Restaurant at Punggol East and of course good seafood there. It was a challenge bringing the kids and yet eating crabs as our hands are dirty and the table are full of plates and food. Ended up Mum ate little and I helped Felin pick the crab meat so that she can still enjoy some crabs.

They really enjoyed themselves and all I can wish for my Dad will be his good health and that one day he will be spiritually touched by God to join our Godly family. He is a great father and husband and to me, its actually not easy to reach this stage. He is always there for us when we need help and he remains faithful to mum all these years. He works hard for the family but we know he is there. We will be presenting his actual birthday gift on his actual birthday and hope he will be touched by our gesture.

Attending a Parenting Course for Toddler...

I was really busy with work lately that I felt guilty I couldn't tell my bedtime stories for the boys and for not communicating enough with Felin. Felin described me as a weekend husband which I can't deny. She slept quite early with the kids nowadays at around 9:30pm and by the time I reached home, she would be in bed and by the time she left for work, I'm most likely still in bed. I'm fully aware that this is unhealthy but I'm struggling with my sales lately yet having so much of servicing work which eats away my time for new business.

I genuinely shared some of my work anxieties with few colleagues lately and I realised that they viewed me more of being sacastic and not sincere. Simple reason could be I was ranked in the top 15 in term of sales and when I shared with them that my business was down, they will just look at me and say I talked rubbish. Instead of receiving comforting words which I hope to hear, they scolded me back with things like "if your sales is down, then we will be dead long ago. Don't prick on us!" I was sad when I hear my colleagues of many years saying such things to me. The more I tried to explain, the more it seems they feel that I prick them further. I understand why they will feel this way because I may feel the same if the top guys came and tell me similar thing.

On the same day, I went for a Parenting Course organised by my church. As I was still hurt with their words, the trainers taught my wife to say 3 things to me.
1) I believe in you...
2) I am proud of you...
3) I will follow you...

With these 3 sentences, I realised that my wife is so important to me and yet I neglected her. She is the only person who will believe what I say. No matter how bad my business going to be, she is still proud of me and no matter what I become, she will still follow me. This is what family is about! What I'm taught to tell her daily are...
1) You are beautiful...
2) You are a good mother...
3) I love you...
These 3 sentences, I really spoke to her with tears in my eyes because I genuinely mean it after that hurtful morning. I just knew that she is simply the one who will share my anxieties and worries and will walk with me through thick and thin.

 

Many practical biblical parenting verses was shared such as understanding the bible that God make the man and woman complete as a family. The children comes as addition to the family and they are not there to complete a family which many viewed traditionally. Its important that the husband and wife maintained strong husband-wife relationship and not let children comes in between. We were encouraged to do daily couch-time to let the children understand that mummy and daddy have our personal time and we are always together. We were encouraged to understand which parenting style and priorities to agree upon, the role of man and woman in family, etc... The workshop is only 2 days of 4 hours but there are so much to be learned.

 

We did our first couch time together and was surprised that the boys can play together on their own without disturbing us when we are so near to them. They understand that we are together and their clear Father and Mother. I prayed together with the boys during meal and bedtime and even pray for their healing of their fever and cough. We had our devotion time together as we sang worship songs together. The boys seems to enjoy it and we were really glad.

 

Thats why I seriously feel that family is still the best shelter to heal our wounds from work and energise me for days ahead. I must set good example for my children as head of this family and strengthen them physically, mentally and also spiritually.  The road ahead is long. I just have to do my best to provide for them... Tomorrow will just be another day of fire fighting......

 

Btw, they are still very weak in their health and Joshua is still having fever as of today when I wrote this post. Tomorrow may need go see doctor again.