Coming to end of 2016

Its coming to end of 2016. When I reflect on the year, it seems that there are many things that could be done better where many of my resolutions were not fulfilled. Nevertheless I have to be contented that we are doing okay financially, the kids and whole family are happy and healthy, I started my fitness program with healthier food choices and better fitness, etc... 2016 is overall a good year.

As for the boys, we visited several childcare centres recently and likely to enrol them by Mid January 17. Another set of challenges is facing us as we are unsure if they can adapt well to childcare and if they will find trouble with the kids and teachers there. We are also concerned about them falling ill during the initial period. Mum complained that they are too active and they find it tiring to take care of them like before and I seriously also think its better that they start with a proper learning timetable and environment asap.

Joshua is now able to articulate rather clear like a young toddler and Josiah prefers to observe rather than making noise. Josiah is more of a problem solver when he wants something. Only when he fails or he is prevented from trying, he will shout for attention till he get it. Joshua is more of a 小少爷 who will shout for us to get things done instead of finding solutions.

I rotated them for their daily morning walk when I drove Felin to MRT station. Its always difficult as the other one will cry nonstop when he see the other sibling going out and he stays home. I always need to tell them who is the one going out the next day.

We went Malaysia over the weekend and stayed in our new house for the very first time. We also celebrated Christmas over there with the family. Mum and Dad also went during the first day. We are blessed to have the beautiful house but not sure how well maintained the whole developement will be in the long term considering how the Malaysian properties always end up after few years. We are also trying to rent out the place.

As mentioned. We just have to be contented and be grateful for what we have today. We thank God that he continue to provides happiness and good health to everyone around us. Its a long way ahead of us and we have to remember that God is in control regardless what happened in the future.

Time not enough

Time just flew that I missed writing for the last 2 months again. I stopped playing my Pokemon Go and Boom Beach at an above average level a few weeks ago. It was a very difficult decision as I love playing these games and am such high level. I decided that I have to stop all these things that are taking away my time at work, in family and with God. This is an example that I must set for my boys. It is necessary for me to demostrate what is important and what is not and show them with my real action. They are too young to understand this but this post will serve as a future lesson that I want to tell them.

There are so many things to update over the past weeks. I always wanted to write it down but failed miserably. There are always things that seems more urgent to do but when I did not pen it down, I ended up forgetting what I wanted to say the very next moment.

The boys are very active at this stage. They fight almost all the time and I'm somehow worried if they will be good brothers in future. Its tiring to care for them because we always have to monitor their behaviours and to stop in time if they fight. Eg, they can jump up the bay window and throw all the toys to the floor at one moment and next moment climb up the sofa or bed and start jumping around which we afraid they may fall and injured themselves. When they are playing, they will snatch for the same toy and start fighting using the toys or even biting each other.
Sometimes when I'm out, I always see toddlers able to sit quietly on the chair playing their own toys or even reading but for my boys, it seems a bit difficult. I felt a bit envious but my parents always say, "

Their appetite improved over the last few weeks. Joshua was down with some virus last month and his appetite dropped very badly that his weight goes below 10kg again. Josiah is defnitely heavier and he is taller too. We are trying to feed Joshua more but he seems to be the more picky eater.

Joshua is getting noiser and like to imitate what we talk. Its quite irritating when he repeat over what we say when we are scolding him. When we asked him a question, he will repeat the question as if nothing goes into him. He also talk quite a lot when he sleeps and he can even sing now.

Josiah is still the cheerful boy who can laugh over anything but he seems to be the type who wants to finish something fast. This is shown on how he eat and drink milk. He did it so fast and will be happy to drop the milk bottle and start doing his things again. Joshua prefer to take his time and drink slowly instead. When playing, he is very insistent whenever he wants something but he will fight over it if he fails to get it. We really have a problem whenever we go church as he did scratch and bite other children when it comes to play with other kids. This is another big headache.

Now they also like to spit saliva and I assume that its part of their growing process as they just learned a new skill. Felin and I are so irritated that we have to scold them and put them in high chair whenever they do it. We feel that its really rude and we have to teach them fast. Too bad that Felin and I are not home all the time to teach them and we depended a fair bit on my parents and helper which they are not strict enough on their misbehaviors. When we are around, they tends to be more careful on what they do.

Overall, we are surely loving our time with them and I value my weekend a lot. Its time consuming playing with them and I bascially can't do much of my own work during weekends. After pacifying them to bed, we are already dead tired. Its a bitter sweet feeling which I think only parents will know.

Pokemon Go

I had missed blogging for nearly 2 months because of work and Games. I started playing Pokemon Go on its first Day Debut of 6th August 2016 and been playing daily since then. My work time are still my work time but my spare time became my game time. I have also been playing Boom Beach since October 2015 which actually slightly eats into my time with family and with this Pokemon Go, it is made worst. Daddy really have to set a better example to the boys on how we should better utitlise our time for more important things. Mummy is definitely better than Daddy in this area of time management. I'm setting a exit plan for the 2 games in weeks ahead.

The boys are getting more difficult nowadays. Their favourite word is still "No...!!!" Both still love to fight and bite each other which make the caregivers very tiring as we need to watch out on them almost all the time. They are still not too good on the feeding part and often refuse food after 4-5 spoonful of food. Its pretty frustrating especially if we spent much time cooking for them and they ate only that few mouthful. If we force them on the food, they will cry and be more resistant to the food.

They can speak 2 syllabus words quite well now like Lorry, Reach Home, sorry, thank you, etc... and seems to understand when we reprimand them. They can look down as if they are guilty of doing something wrong when we scold them. The conversation seems to be more meaningful though Josiah just love repeating what we say. I suppose we are still at the fun part of parenting and we just have to continue enjoy the moments.

Taking the MRT together during one of the weekend. Its our 2nd MRT trip together and they seems to like it.

The 2 biggest love of the boys. Balloons and Bubbles right now. See how they will insist on holding on to the balloons while having meal.

Had a enjoyable day last weekend at the Marina Barrage. They were wearing the same shirt as the first time while they are just 11 months old. How time flies and the same shirt still fits them. We played bubble, exposed them to waterplay before having dinner at Satay by the Bay.

Their first time carrying lantern during the Mid-Autumn Festival organised by Livia NC. They were not very stable while carrying the lanterns and we were careful as its the candel type of lantern. They are simply so cute while walking with the lantern.

The season for Flu, Runny Nose, Cough and Fever again

The virus is back again and its getting strong. Josiah started falling sick on 28th July with fever running as high as 40.1 Degree Celsius at one point. We took turns to sponge him with water throughout the day and night. His runny nose is quite bad that he couldn't sleep and cried the night through. Its pretty tough over that 1 week until Joshua fell sick as well the following week and just reocevered only on 9th August. That was a long and super sleepy period as we still brought ourselves to work in the morning. Always feel that the tough part of parenting is when the kiddos are sick, yet it hurts to see them ill. Something that a non parent may not fully comprehend.

When they are finally much better with no fever, we brought them out again for family time. Its so much easier to be out with them than to be with 2 sick boys all day at home. Its the National Day weekend and we sang National Songs and attended the National Day Observation Ceremony. Hope they will be proud to be Singaporeans and serve the Army happily in future.

Their weight dropped quite a fair bit over the past 2 weeks with Josiah dropping from 9.9kg to 9.2kg and Joshua to only 9.0kg. Haiz... They are still so thin and need to feed them to grow more fats. Their baby fats are like gone already when I looked back at old photographs. So many babies at 12 months already more than 10kg and ours seems so hard to hit the mark.

Feeding is still an issue as they always don't seems to enjoy food. They are more selective with food now with this age and will reject strongly if they don't want to eat. The case is worse for Joshua lately maybe because he just recovered. Hope their appetite comes back soon...

Slow and Steady Growth

Weekends are the most enjoyable part of the week. Felin and I are able to spend quality time with the boys which I sensed that they enjoy our presence and companionship. We will always have a nice Breakfast and walk around the park or shopping centre and go for class at Genius League in the evening. In between, while they sleep, we will just rest or do our work.

They are able to react quite well when we talk or read to them. Joshua is pretty noisy at time and keep making funny sounds which are not longer as simple as Bababa or mamama. The baby language had upgraded to sounds like Ah Buloo... Yoloyolo...., etc... He is now able to sit independently at the car seat without another Adult around with him. But he will cry when the sun shine on him in the car. As he woke up earlier, I will sometimes take him along as I drive Felin to MRT station in the morning. I will bring him to the park for a short 5-10 minutes walk thereafter. I will try bringing Josiah the next time. Hope he can be as independent as well.

Biting is still a problem and they can bite each other without much warning. Their teeth are really sharp. A simple bite can really leave the mark on their hands. Josiah is still not eating much and we always have to think of creative ways to feed him. He is a more picky eater and have a preference towards sweet things. Josiah always offer us his sweetest smile and never fails to melt our hearts.

There are still so much more to explore about them and they are really getting fun to play with passing day...

 

The boys who will ask for my morning Yakult which I will ask for kisses before giving them one or two sips.

Our usual morning breakfast. This one is at Downtown East Coffee Bean.

 

The common sight whenever I returned home from work early. The milk before their sleep.

The joys and woes

I went through the flashcards as usual with the boys this morning and when I took out the Apple Card, Joshua suddenly says "Ap-ple". I was so excited and shouted for mum and told her that he can say a 2 syllabus word. I asked him again and he repeated "Ap-ple". I asked him to say Banana next and he repeated "nana". He can't say other 2 syllabus words yet but I'm nevertheless excited.

They are now at the age where its pretty difficult to control. When they like to get something, they can really insist for it and cry excessively. Joshua now likes to go toliet bowl to play with the water in the bowl. I kept telling him that its for peeing for pooing but he will still go to the toliet when we are not aware to play with the water. As for Josiah, I was shocked yesterday when he threw his pacificer downstairs and have a tendency of picking up things in the living room and throwing things down. Both of them also like to climb on chairs or tables or going to the study room to touch the fan, etc... All these are making the caregivers a very hard time as we have to be attentive to them every single moment. Its really very tiring. All thanks for Mum and my helper so that we can go out to work in peace.

Felin and I signed the boys up for the classes under Genius League Academy at a cost of approximately $50 each for every 70 minutes session. We signed for a term of 12 lessons after attending their free trial lesson. The class will be held every Saturday 5:40pm which means I'll have to bring them to Novena area for class every week for the next 12 weeks.

During the trial, they went through a series of exercises, including the possibility of opening up their right brain to see things we normally can't see. The pace of the class is rather fast and I'm quite skeptical about the ESP part. I was told that they are already much slower already compared to other schools such as Heguru and Shichida. The boys are not that bad in term of focusing for this first lesson and hope they are able to continue this for the next 12 lessons. Hopefully what we spent is able to help them learn something useful and we as parents can also learn how to teach them better. The objective is for them to enjoy and to improve their ability to focus in a classroom setting.

We spent an hour plus at NTUC Fairprice Xtra at Changi Biz Park for grocery shopping during the weekend. I as usual went through all the fruits and items in the supermarket as I pushed them along on the trolley. They enjoyed the ride on the trolley and everyone walking pass me will look at this Daddy who kept talking non stop to the boys as if they are in a childcare centre.

As for sleep, they refused to let me pat them to sleep nowaday. They will cry for mummy or my helper during bedtime. As a result, I am now able to sleep on the bed as Felin sleep on the floor now. Maybe I should thanks for boys for choosing Mummy. Lol... Anyway I hope they are able to sleep independently without crying whenever they wake up in the middle of the night soon or better still if they can simply sleep through the night consistently. So that Felin and I can have the bed together again.

Sleep - Swim - Sea

Joshua and Josiah are growing so fast that I always forgot what I want to write in my blog. I am really eager to record their new skills, new words spoken, new expressions, etc... Felin and I will laugh over some of their things they do and things that they surprises us with but I always forgot what are the things that make me laugh the very next day. This journey is getting really amazing and I'm loving it somehow. (minus the sleepless nights)

Felin tried to let the brothers to sleep together in the same room last weekend and its really killing us. For the first night, the 4 of us slept in the children's room. They are not in mood of sleeping when we are around and kept running around the room. When they finally settled down, they woke up like 3-4 times in the night. Josiah like to turn and twist around the whole room and it wakes Joshua up. Joshua likewise wakes up once or twice a night and when he does, he will wake Josiah up. In short, we don't have a good night sleep. On the second night, we tried it in our room and we suffered too. When Josiah realised that Joshua is sleeping on the bed, he shouted for us to carry him onto the bed too and when he is on the bed, he will turn and twist until Joshua can't sleep and we can't sleep too. We were so tired the next morning and decided to try again only on weekends.

We brought the boys for a swim 2 Saturdays ago and they really love it. They were so excited throughout the 1 hour water play and Joshua cried when we tried to bring them up from the pool. They were really funny and was already so fascinated with the floats at home even before going down the pool itself.

We also brought them to the Punggol Jetty Point to enjoy the seabreeze and to see the horses at the Gallop Stable. They really enjoyed watching the horses and rabbits feeding session. They also enjoyed the sunset and seeing the boats at the jetty as well as the people fishing and playing by the beach. It was an enjoyable evening.

The Father's guilt

Joshua usually wake up at 6:45am and as he slept with us, he will mingle with me in the master room when Felin gets herself ready for work. We will wait for Josiah to wake up before we open the door for him to join in. They will drink their morning milk and I will play with both of them for a while after that. By 7:35am, I'll drive Felin to MRT station and be back around 8am. I'll then wash up and get into my work attire. By 8:30am, I'll then go through the flashcards or books and spend some time playing with them till 9am when my parents arrive. Once the play room is opened, they will start roaming around the house while I have breakfast. After breakfast, they will go down for their daily walk with my parents and I'll be off to work.

The only time I spent with them are the short half an hour before I drive Felin to work and the half an hour before my parents arrive. If I am required to go office early, I'll not have that precious half an hour to go through the flashcards or books with them. By the time I finished work and reached home at 9:30pm or 10pm, the boys will already be in bed. I have no idea what they are doing from the time I left house to the time they sleep.

The guilt is always I failed to spend enough quality time with them especially when I have early meetings or trainings to attend. By evening, I always struggled between having to complete my work, to arrange for appointments or just go home and play with the boys. I alway chose the first 2 but try to do the 3rd at least once a week. However when I'm busy, I can't even come back home early for even 1 weekday night. This makes me somehow unhappy at times. Felin slept early at times with the boys and hence when I'm home, the house can be dead quiet.

Weekends seems to be the only time I can spend time but Saturdays morning and afternoon are always lined up with appointments as some clients can only meet me on weekends. I'll then arrange to go shopping in the evening and dinner with the boys at some nearby shopping centres. On Sunday, it will be church in the morning, lunch somewhere before they go for their afternoon nap. After nap, its feeding time and off we go somewhere again in the evening till after dinner. Its like a full day with them and I'm always happy for Sundays.

Thereafter, the routine of weekdays repeat again. Felin sometimes described me as a weekend husband and I felt its quite true. Well, I think such Father's Guilt happens to a lot of fathers out there who have to manage their work and family. I always feel that I am not managing my time well and are not productive at work.

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Over the weekend, we went back Malaysia to spend time with Felin's family. They also had their haircut at one of the salon. They surprised me that they did not cry or struggled but sat on the plank quietly throughout around 5-6 minutes. Good job, boys... Loving both of you more daily... Both of you are really growing so fast and I know I'll miss this period very soon...

Some Updates

Time flies and I didn't realise that I missed writing on this blog for more than 2 weeks. So many things seems to happen and I can't really remember the details after few days. Lets have an update.

14th May marks the 14th year Felin and I started dating. I still think this is the best thing that happened to me when she said "Yes" to be my girlfriend. She is a very intelligent lady who managed to make me feel intelligent myself though I'm sure she smarter than me. In my younger days, I would never dare to think that I'll have a pretty girlfriend who are not without suitors. She chose me 14 years ago and I still remembered the joy today. We had lunch at the Stadium and went for a massage at Marine Parade that day...

We took a selfie with the Kallang River as backdrop and the Tanjung Rhu area. Both of us were thinking if we can ever afford a house there. We love the environment. May this be our dream home.

On the 16th May, Felin went for a business trip over 5 days and I came home earlier everyday over the week and slept with Joshua during this period. Joshua usually wakes up in the middle of the night and luckily he did not cry when he couldn't find mummy. Daddy is okay too. lol... I survived that 5 days. Phew...

Firefly finally sent the photos to me for the shoot at MacRitchie Reservoir last month and i'm quite satisfied with the quality of the pictures considered that I only paid $99 for the outdoor package. They took about 200+ photos for us with 50 edit ones sent to us.

Joshua's speech is getting better. He can say Mama, YeYe, Amen, Bao Bei, etc... He can imitate quite a few of our speech already. Josiah is a bid behind but we know that he is learning quietly behind us.

My Glenn Doman cards aren't working on them. I couldn't grab their attention well and they always run away whenever I flashed the cards. I was thinking how heartache I will be if I am to send them for the Shichida class and they just don't want to focus at all. Each class cost $200 for both of them and a term of 10 weeks will cost $2,000.

The intensity of toy fighting gets heavier nowadays with both their weapon which are their teeth. They really bite and it is quite painful if we got bitten by them. They like to throw their toys and run round the house the whole day long. They shout for attention and cry loud when they can't get what they want. I really need to instill some discipline in the family soon. Can't be the good man all day long now...

Happy Mother's Day

Its Felin's 2nd Mother's Day Celebration. It will be another 2-3 years before the boys celebrate with her with the knowledge that its Mother's Day. Its always a good reminder how hard our mothers had painstakingly nurtured us over all these years.

We went back Malaysia over the weekend without the Sarong rack this time and certainly reduced a lot of things to carry in the vehicle. The boys had officially quit the Sarong and I'm happy about it. My Living room is now back to the spacious mode. Its somehow still challenging to pacify them to sleep in the same room as they kept running around when they are together, making naps difficult.

The boys are now fighting more and I think I have lots of teaching to do in years ahead. They normally refuse to share toys and will try to snatch from each other. Eg, they were both playing Lego sets today and Joshua try to snatch from Josiah even though the legos were everywhere. Josiah became irritated and took one lego and hit Joshua's head. Joshua was unhappy and retaliated and took another lego to hit back Josiah after a while after I scolded Josiah. When I was trying to push back Joshua, Josiah lurch forward to bite Joshua. I was so shocked.

Anyway, we had a good time with our families. We visited a flower fair and had plenty of good food in Malaysia. We then came back home to have a little celebration with Mum at Sister's place. The boys were really tired and had a good nice sleep.

 

HOT

Ann was feeding Joshua porridge yesterday and Joshua started to make loud noises. Ann asked "What Happened?" and Joshua replied "HOT"!.

Josiah passed his new water bottle to Joshua and asked him to open. Joshua pushed back the water bottle and shake his head and replied "Eh Eh"... He knows that he also don't know how to open.

Both boys are starting to sleep without the Sarong during afternoon nap. We had kept one of the Sarong and the other one remains. They are starting to eat more of our food but getting more active as well.

They are giving us surprises almost every few days.

We celebrated Dad's actual day birthday on 28th April by singing birthday song, with birthday cake and a birthday gift. I really hope he enjoyed himself and is happy.

As for today 30th April, we went for an outdoor photoshoot at MacRitchie Reservoir. Will update some of the pictures when its ready. We were really fortunate that the rain stopped just before we start the photoshoot. It was pretty humid and tiring. Joshua cried during the last part of the photoshoot because he was either afraid of the monkeys or afraid of the noise made by the remote quadcopters. Think the result of the photoshoot will be somehow so so.

The boys are growing so fast

I thought I stopped writing for a long time until I realized that my last blog post was just 9 days ago. Time passes amazingly quickly and the boys are growing so fast that I seem to miss their new milestones.

Joshua are starting to blabber instead of the usual "Kar Kar" or "Pa Pa". He can respond to simple instructions like "Put your pacifier there" and "Hug Hug", etc... When I called "Hug Hug", he will come over to hug me and replied "Hug Hug". That was so sweet of him. He like to tap on his chest like "scare scare" and when we asked "Why you scare?", he will laugh over it.

Josiah is able to accurately point to me on his mat where the apple, zebra, monkey, balloon, etc... to me and when I asked where the rabbit ear, he will raise up his hands over his head trying to imitate rabbit ears. Every morning, when I went out to greet him, he will never fail to smile at me. He is really a sweet boy though a bit "Stubborn" at times.

Both of them like to walk around the house that mum always have to follow them, fearing that they will trip and hurt themselves. They are now able to play together but occasionally pull each other's hair or bite each other. Its really difficult to teach on this part about not hitting each other as they don't seems to understand that its not right. They like to snatch each other's toys and fighting often start from there. Their appetite are back to normal and thank God for the good health they are enjoying now. No flu, fever or running nose, etc...

Last Saturday, we brought them to a one hour playgroup at Leap Schoolhouse near my place for 4 trial lessons at $100 each child. Hence I will be bringing them over the next 4 Saturdays and probably sacrifice my usual Saturday morning appointments. Its my desire to be with them and learn together.
They learn to play some toys with animals and their first time doing paintings. There are also music, dancing, reading of books, etc... They then had a short session of gym where they just ran around the place and enjoy themselves. I find the 1 hour session at only $25 pretty okay and I have fun with the boys as well.

On Sunday, we went for an early Birthday Celebration for Dad because sister will be going to Nepal for mountain climbing this Friday. We had a relaxing time at Uncle Leong Seafood Restaurant at Punggol East and of course good seafood there. It was a challenge bringing the kids and yet eating crabs as our hands are dirty and the table are full of plates and food. Ended up Mum ate little and I helped Felin pick the crab meat so that she can still enjoy some crabs.

They really enjoyed themselves and all I can wish for my Dad will be his good health and that one day he will be spiritually touched by God to join our Godly family. He is a great father and husband and to me, its actually not easy to reach this stage. He is always there for us when we need help and he remains faithful to mum all these years. He works hard for the family but we know he is there. We will be presenting his actual birthday gift on his actual birthday and hope he will be touched by our gesture.

Attending a Parenting Course for Toddler...

I was really busy with work lately that I felt guilty I couldn't tell my bedtime stories for the boys and for not communicating enough with Felin. Felin described me as a weekend husband which I can't deny. She slept quite early with the kids nowadays at around 9:30pm and by the time I reached home, she would be in bed and by the time she left for work, I'm most likely still in bed. I'm fully aware that this is unhealthy but I'm struggling with my sales lately yet having so much of servicing work which eats away my time for new business.

I genuinely shared some of my work anxieties with few colleagues lately and I realised that they viewed me more of being sacastic and not sincere. Simple reason could be I was ranked in the top 15 in term of sales and when I shared with them that my business was down, they will just look at me and say I talked rubbish. Instead of receiving comforting words which I hope to hear, they scolded me back with things like "if your sales is down, then we will be dead long ago. Don't prick on us!" I was sad when I hear my colleagues of many years saying such things to me. The more I tried to explain, the more it seems they feel that I prick them further. I understand why they will feel this way because I may feel the same if the top guys came and tell me similar thing.

On the same day, I went for a Parenting Course organised by my church. As I was still hurt with their words, the trainers taught my wife to say 3 things to me.
1) I believe in you...
2) I am proud of you...
3) I will follow you...

With these 3 sentences, I realised that my wife is so important to me and yet I neglected her. She is the only person who will believe what I say. No matter how bad my business going to be, she is still proud of me and no matter what I become, she will still follow me. This is what family is about! What I'm taught to tell her daily are...
1) You are beautiful...
2) You are a good mother...
3) I love you...
These 3 sentences, I really spoke to her with tears in my eyes because I genuinely mean it after that hurtful morning. I just knew that she is simply the one who will share my anxieties and worries and will walk with me through thick and thin.

 

Many practical biblical parenting verses was shared such as understanding the bible that God make the man and woman complete as a family. The children comes as addition to the family and they are not there to complete a family which many viewed traditionally. Its important that the husband and wife maintained strong husband-wife relationship and not let children comes in between. We were encouraged to do daily couch-time to let the children understand that mummy and daddy have our personal time and we are always together. We were encouraged to understand which parenting style and priorities to agree upon, the role of man and woman in family, etc... The workshop is only 2 days of 4 hours but there are so much to be learned.

 

We did our first couch time together and was surprised that the boys can play together on their own without disturbing us when we are so near to them. They understand that we are together and their clear Father and Mother. I prayed together with the boys during meal and bedtime and even pray for their healing of their fever and cough. We had our devotion time together as we sang worship songs together. The boys seems to enjoy it and we were really glad.

 

Thats why I seriously feel that family is still the best shelter to heal our wounds from work and energise me for days ahead. I must set good example for my children as head of this family and strengthen them physically, mentally and also spiritually.  The road ahead is long. I just have to do my best to provide for them... Tomorrow will just be another day of fire fighting......

 

Btw, they are still very weak in their health and Joshua is still having fever as of today when I wrote this post. Tomorrow may need go see doctor again.

 

 

 

Argument with a friend on "Role of Fathers"

I was sharing with a friend that my life was turned after being a father and my work was affected somehow. I advised him to do his best while he is still single and without kids. He sounded surpised by my advice and asked me to give example on why my work time can be reduced. I said lesser sleep, time to spend playing with them, to feed them, etc... He rebuked that I did not trained them properly on sleep and thats reason why wake up at night and asked why I need to play with them since they will not remember that I had played with them at this age and feeding should be my wife's problem. I should be working as usual.

I argued back that how can he say my boys won't remember that I played with them. Its inside them that there is a Daddy and I believe they knew it. He then asked what did I remember about when I am 14 months old? I said I can't remember anything and so he said, "Why you still need to play with them?" I replied that I as the father have will take the rougher position to strengthen them and let them know they are boys and not girls. They shall not be afraid of knocks and pain. I kicked balls with them in my room and they enjoyed it. My wife will definitely not do what I did. He laughed and said, "do you know how dangerous you are creating for your kids? They are supposed to be disciplined and your wife did the right thing and you are making them active and creating a dangerous environment. Next time if they are outside, they can be banged by a car. Do you know that?

I was quite unhappy with his remarks and asked how can you say that by playing balls with them, I am creating a non disciplined environment? Sensing that I am not happy, he then replied, "its your own son lar. Do whatever you like!" He implied that if I have lesser time, its my problem and nothing to do with the kids. Its I who want to play with them when I don't need to. We parted after that sentence.

I was fuming after that short few mintues conversation especially that he is still single and know nothing about Fatherhood. He came lecture me about Fatherhood and yet sounded right in front of others when my original message to him was well intended.

Well. Luckily he is not my boss or I need to report work for him as these people will not understand how tough parenthood is and how important our roles are regardless how young the babies may be. He thought bringing up kids like like playing toys. Play a while, tired can just stop. For caregivers like us, its the other way round. We play with them, no matter how tired we are, have to continue and we can stop only when they are tired. We somemore have to think that to play with them.

Good luck to those who need to work for a boss who "simply don't get it"!

Daddy giving Music Lesson and the boys enjoy just blowing into the windpipe.

Updates Updates and Updates

Its been a while I last posted and I'm excited to announce that Josiah is finally walking without support and confidently. However the problem is that he walk very fast and unstable. When Joshua started to walk, he walks slow and steady but for Josiah, he walks fast but unsteady. It kept us really busy just watching him walk. He fell with his face straight onto the floor a few time already with bruises on his face.

Joshua was down with Thrush with whitish spots on his tongue. He got no fever but we have to seperate the 2 boys for a day and sterilise the toys to ensure the bacteria does not spread. Glad that the whitish spots disappear after 2 days. Its always a pain to seperate the 2 boys because it means additional manpower to watch 2 babies seperately.

The boys sometimes still a bit feverish and constantly had runny nose and we started to suspect on the Pediasure milk powder as we were told that the milk is very heaty and the babies need to drink plenty of water. Our babies always refuse to drink water and we think that could be a likely cause of them always getting fever. We are trying encourage them to drink more water.

We were supposed to go for a Professional outdoor photoshoot on 13th March, Sunday at Fort Canning Hill Park but it started raining just before the outdoor shoot and the shoot had to be postponed. We wore the family Popeye Tees and brought along Dad and Mum with a hope that we can bring back some memorable pictures. Unfortunately didn't go through. Anyway, we went to eat Ba Tuk Teh at Song Fa and walked along the river bank at Clarke Quay and the boys enjoy seeing all the boats on the river. The floor and the chairs along the riverbank are wet and the babies got wet as a result. Mummy obviously are not happy with me letting them walk freely fearing that they may fall sick.

I had my wisdom tooth removal on 16th March and in the midst of that nearly 30 minutes surgery, I suddenly have a vision in my mind that Joshua becomes a Dentist. Is that a prophecy for me? I felt that is a noble job to cure those with dental problem like what I had with my wisdom tooth. Go for it Joshua! Its a God's given vision to me.

The flu bug is back after the fever

As we thought the Fever season ended after the TCM on 25th Feb, Josiah went down with flu again on the 27th Feb. Coincidently, I also strucked with Flu and Fever the next day which I took 5 days to recover. I resumed my usual chore of taking care of the babies and stopped wearing the mask as I thought I had recovered. In fact, I had made the mistake of removing the mask as I actually still have a bit of runny nose on Thursday. This resulted in Joshua also went into Runny nose on Saturday. Haiz, I am already sick for so long... I really hope no one get sick again.

The boys are getting more fun to play with now. Joshua can walk pretty fast now and Josiah are more stable when we hold his hand to walk. They are making more noise at home and kept "Ahhh... Ahhh..." in the house. Both of them can point to me the Panda, Zebra, Star, Angel, Cookie Jar, Monkey, etc... quite accurately. Their favourite game are still to hide under the playmat and pulling the curtains. Their feeding are still an issue but their sleeping is pretty stable. They don't eat and drink a lot and we need to distract them to eat. They slept from 8:30pm to 6pm daily with 1-2 naps in the day.

We went for a Wedding Dinner last Sunday and Brother's shirt happened to be similar to the boys. So take a picture of him with the boys.

Over weekend, we brought the boys to the sports hall to see people swim, to Church and to the beach for a walk. The boys are now enjoying the Church Cradle roll now as there are always so many toys in the room but they are losing patience during worship services as they simply just want to walk around now... Just prayed that God will protect our family against illnesses and all of us will always be happy...