Argument with a friend on "Role of Fathers"

I was sharing with a friend that my life was turned after being a father and my work was affected somehow. I advised him to do his best while he is still single and without kids. He sounded surpised by my advice and asked me to give example on why my work time can be reduced. I said lesser sleep, time to spend playing with them, to feed them, etc... He rebuked that I did not trained them properly on sleep and thats reason why wake up at night and asked why I need to play with them since they will not remember that I had played with them at this age and feeding should be my wife's problem. I should be working as usual.

I argued back that how can he say my boys won't remember that I played with them. Its inside them that there is a Daddy and I believe they knew it. He then asked what did I remember about when I am 14 months old? I said I can't remember anything and so he said, "Why you still need to play with them?" I replied that I as the father have will take the rougher position to strengthen them and let them know they are boys and not girls. They shall not be afraid of knocks and pain. I kicked balls with them in my room and they enjoyed it. My wife will definitely not do what I did. He laughed and said, "do you know how dangerous you are creating for your kids? They are supposed to be disciplined and your wife did the right thing and you are making them active and creating a dangerous environment. Next time if they are outside, they can be banged by a car. Do you know that?

I was quite unhappy with his remarks and asked how can you say that by playing balls with them, I am creating a non disciplined environment? Sensing that I am not happy, he then replied, "its your own son lar. Do whatever you like!" He implied that if I have lesser time, its my problem and nothing to do with the kids. Its I who want to play with them when I don't need to. We parted after that sentence.

I was fuming after that short few mintues conversation especially that he is still single and know nothing about Fatherhood. He came lecture me about Fatherhood and yet sounded right in front of others when my original message to him was well intended.

Well. Luckily he is not my boss or I need to report work for him as these people will not understand how tough parenthood is and how important our roles are regardless how young the babies may be. He thought bringing up kids like like playing toys. Play a while, tired can just stop. For caregivers like us, its the other way round. We play with them, no matter how tired we are, have to continue and we can stop only when they are tired. We somemore have to think that to play with them.

Good luck to those who need to work for a boss who "simply don't get it"!

Daddy giving Music Lesson and the boys enjoy just blowing into the windpipe.