Its my first post of 2023 and I'm pretty late to update. Been busy with work, preparing the kids Primary 2 journey like reviewing and wrapping their school books, designing their new room to prepare their migration and planning for their birthday, etc... over the past 2 weeks.
Let me journal their 2023 celebration and what I wish to say for today first.
New year eve was celebrated at Pasir Ris Park with Tracy, her mother, Peter and Zi Qing. I'd suggested a BBQ and it really materialized within 3 days after my suggestion. Both me and Felin were busy with work but we still managed to get the job done about 2 hours before setting off at 4pm that day.
We were blessed with great weather. The kids had lots of fun with the sand, BBQing marshmallows and playing with sparkling sticks. They were tired when we reached home but Josiah requested us to wake him up to see the fireworks which he missed every year. The fireworks comes from Tampines Hub which we can partially view but its probably our final year that we can view it because the new BTO flats from Tampines North will surely block us next year onwards.
On 7th January, we went back Malaysia for a very early Reunion Dinner. Its too difficult to travel back as the kids need go back to school this time unlike preschool days. We also do not wish to brave the bad traffic and Felin will be very busy during their period too anyway.
They had more fun with their cousins in Malaysia compared to cousins in Singapore because the age gap between them are much closer for them to do silly things together. They kept laughing and can't stop running around whenever they are together. The kids always love me to be around too as I'm the less busy one who are willing spend time playing and doing silly things with them.
May 2023 be a wonderful year for all of us. Wish that everyone stay in good health, be happy and able to achieve new milestone in their career and personal lives.
Okay. Now a few sentences to jot down what I'm currently feel in my parenting journey...
Sometimes I can't stopping feeling that my boys are simply not those intelligent kids. A bit acceptance that they are not likely those who can do exceptionally well in school. Whenever I'm teaching them, they can't really seems to remember things, careless with their work, don't exhibit seriousness or resilience in their learning. Maybe due to their age, they don't really care for me and Felin and let us feel a sense of gratefulness from them.
I frequently will doubt on my own parenting abilities. I'm probably not creative enough to encourage them in their learning journey, had not set up a more conducive environment that they will be motivated to learn or I did not make best use of their early childhood to "Open Up" their brains, etc... Am I spending too much time at work? Had they simply had inherit my genes, which I know I'm not a smarty too.
I know I should not compare them with any other children and to love them unconditionally. Every kid is different and have different talents. I cannot be so fast to judge how they will turn out to be one day. My expectations will just give them pressure and I want them to grow just to be themselves and be confident with life. I also know that I shouldn't compare myself with other parents too and to remind myself that I'd tried hard enough. Just got to remember that God is the one in control and I need to continue trust him while we do our best to help them achieve their full potential and be useful people in the society one day. I'm learning to be good parent while I'm teaching them to be good children too. Long journey but I'm positive I can still do better...
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