The boys are growing so fast

I thought I stopped writing for a long time until I realized that my last blog post was just 9 days ago. Time passes amazingly quickly and the boys are growing so fast that I seem to miss their new milestones.

Joshua are starting to blabber instead of the usual "Kar Kar" or "Pa Pa". He can respond to simple instructions like "Put your pacifier there" and "Hug Hug", etc... When I called "Hug Hug", he will come over to hug me and replied "Hug Hug". That was so sweet of him. He like to tap on his chest like "scare scare" and when we asked "Why you scare?", he will laugh over it.

Josiah is able to accurately point to me on his mat where the apple, zebra, monkey, balloon, etc... to me and when I asked where the rabbit ear, he will raise up his hands over his head trying to imitate rabbit ears. Every morning, when I went out to greet him, he will never fail to smile at me. He is really a sweet boy though a bit "Stubborn" at times.

Both of them like to walk around the house that mum always have to follow them, fearing that they will trip and hurt themselves. They are now able to play together but occasionally pull each other's hair or bite each other. Its really difficult to teach on this part about not hitting each other as they don't seems to understand that its not right. They like to snatch each other's toys and fighting often start from there. Their appetite are back to normal and thank God for the good health they are enjoying now. No flu, fever or running nose, etc...

Last Saturday, we brought them to a one hour playgroup at Leap Schoolhouse near my place for 4 trial lessons at $100 each child. Hence I will be bringing them over the next 4 Saturdays and probably sacrifice my usual Saturday morning appointments. Its my desire to be with them and learn together.
They learn to play some toys with animals and their first time doing paintings. There are also music, dancing, reading of books, etc... They then had a short session of gym where they just ran around the place and enjoy themselves. I find the 1 hour session at only $25 pretty okay and I have fun with the boys as well.

On Sunday, we went for an early Birthday Celebration for Dad because sister will be going to Nepal for mountain climbing this Friday. We had a relaxing time at Uncle Leong Seafood Restaurant at Punggol East and of course good seafood there. It was a challenge bringing the kids and yet eating crabs as our hands are dirty and the table are full of plates and food. Ended up Mum ate little and I helped Felin pick the crab meat so that she can still enjoy some crabs.

They really enjoyed themselves and all I can wish for my Dad will be his good health and that one day he will be spiritually touched by God to join our Godly family. He is a great father and husband and to me, its actually not easy to reach this stage. He is always there for us when we need help and he remains faithful to mum all these years. He works hard for the family but we know he is there. We will be presenting his actual birthday gift on his actual birthday and hope he will be touched by our gesture.

Attending a Parenting Course for Toddler...

I was really busy with work lately that I felt guilty I couldn't tell my bedtime stories for the boys and for not communicating enough with Felin. Felin described me as a weekend husband which I can't deny. She slept quite early with the kids nowadays at around 9:30pm and by the time I reached home, she would be in bed and by the time she left for work, I'm most likely still in bed. I'm fully aware that this is unhealthy but I'm struggling with my sales lately yet having so much of servicing work which eats away my time for new business.

I genuinely shared some of my work anxieties with few colleagues lately and I realised that they viewed me more of being sacastic and not sincere. Simple reason could be I was ranked in the top 15 in term of sales and when I shared with them that my business was down, they will just look at me and say I talked rubbish. Instead of receiving comforting words which I hope to hear, they scolded me back with things like "if your sales is down, then we will be dead long ago. Don't prick on us!" I was sad when I hear my colleagues of many years saying such things to me. The more I tried to explain, the more it seems they feel that I prick them further. I understand why they will feel this way because I may feel the same if the top guys came and tell me similar thing.

On the same day, I went for a Parenting Course organised by my church. As I was still hurt with their words, the trainers taught my wife to say 3 things to me.
1) I believe in you...
2) I am proud of you...
3) I will follow you...

With these 3 sentences, I realised that my wife is so important to me and yet I neglected her. She is the only person who will believe what I say. No matter how bad my business going to be, she is still proud of me and no matter what I become, she will still follow me. This is what family is about! What I'm taught to tell her daily are...
1) You are beautiful...
2) You are a good mother...
3) I love you...
These 3 sentences, I really spoke to her with tears in my eyes because I genuinely mean it after that hurtful morning. I just knew that she is simply the one who will share my anxieties and worries and will walk with me through thick and thin.

 

Many practical biblical parenting verses was shared such as understanding the bible that God make the man and woman complete as a family. The children comes as addition to the family and they are not there to complete a family which many viewed traditionally. Its important that the husband and wife maintained strong husband-wife relationship and not let children comes in between. We were encouraged to do daily couch-time to let the children understand that mummy and daddy have our personal time and we are always together. We were encouraged to understand which parenting style and priorities to agree upon, the role of man and woman in family, etc... The workshop is only 2 days of 4 hours but there are so much to be learned.

 

We did our first couch time together and was surprised that the boys can play together on their own without disturbing us when we are so near to them. They understand that we are together and their clear Father and Mother. I prayed together with the boys during meal and bedtime and even pray for their healing of their fever and cough. We had our devotion time together as we sang worship songs together. The boys seems to enjoy it and we were really glad.

 

Thats why I seriously feel that family is still the best shelter to heal our wounds from work and energise me for days ahead. I must set good example for my children as head of this family and strengthen them physically, mentally and also spiritually.  The road ahead is long. I just have to do my best to provide for them... Tomorrow will just be another day of fire fighting......

 

Btw, they are still very weak in their health and Joshua is still having fever as of today when I wrote this post. Tomorrow may need go see doctor again.

 

 

 

Argument with a friend on "Role of Fathers"

I was sharing with a friend that my life was turned after being a father and my work was affected somehow. I advised him to do his best while he is still single and without kids. He sounded surpised by my advice and asked me to give example on why my work time can be reduced. I said lesser sleep, time to spend playing with them, to feed them, etc... He rebuked that I did not trained them properly on sleep and thats reason why wake up at night and asked why I need to play with them since they will not remember that I had played with them at this age and feeding should be my wife's problem. I should be working as usual.

I argued back that how can he say my boys won't remember that I played with them. Its inside them that there is a Daddy and I believe they knew it. He then asked what did I remember about when I am 14 months old? I said I can't remember anything and so he said, "Why you still need to play with them?" I replied that I as the father have will take the rougher position to strengthen them and let them know they are boys and not girls. They shall not be afraid of knocks and pain. I kicked balls with them in my room and they enjoyed it. My wife will definitely not do what I did. He laughed and said, "do you know how dangerous you are creating for your kids? They are supposed to be disciplined and your wife did the right thing and you are making them active and creating a dangerous environment. Next time if they are outside, they can be banged by a car. Do you know that?

I was quite unhappy with his remarks and asked how can you say that by playing balls with them, I am creating a non disciplined environment? Sensing that I am not happy, he then replied, "its your own son lar. Do whatever you like!" He implied that if I have lesser time, its my problem and nothing to do with the kids. Its I who want to play with them when I don't need to. We parted after that sentence.

I was fuming after that short few mintues conversation especially that he is still single and know nothing about Fatherhood. He came lecture me about Fatherhood and yet sounded right in front of others when my original message to him was well intended.

Well. Luckily he is not my boss or I need to report work for him as these people will not understand how tough parenthood is and how important our roles are regardless how young the babies may be. He thought bringing up kids like like playing toys. Play a while, tired can just stop. For caregivers like us, its the other way round. We play with them, no matter how tired we are, have to continue and we can stop only when they are tired. We somemore have to think that to play with them.

Good luck to those who need to work for a boss who "simply don't get it"!

Daddy giving Music Lesson and the boys enjoy just blowing into the windpipe.