A gloomy and rainy afternoon that Singaporeans remember

It was the funeral procession of Mr Lee Kuan Yew today. He travelled from Parliament House to the NUS Memorial Hall. The public lined up the whole 15.4km stretch of road. It was raining heavily and all these Singaporeans, young and old braved and stood under the rain just to greet him for the very last time during this journey where he travelled at 25km/hr. It was a really dark and gloomy day for Singapore at that point of time and its like the whole Singapore was crying for him.

Over the past 7 days, almost all Singaporeans queued as long as 12 hours just to catch a glimpse of 15 seconds in Parliament house. It shown the resilience spirit of Singaporeans and how they demonstrated appreciation.
Leaders worldwide visited him with some countries mourning for him. 10 friends, colleagues, family members and people who interacted with him in the past, delivered their eulogy over the 2 hours procession in NUS. It was a touching day for Singapore. A minute of Silent was observed with the Siren sounding islandwide to initiate the beginning and end of the slient.

Joshua and Josiah is too young to understand what he had done for Singaporeans like us. I couldn't tell them stories of what he did yet. They were still crying for milk while we were watching the Live Telecast of the state funeral. I just hope one day, they will be proud to be Singaporeans and make Singapore a better place and not let it become a mediocre country in the next 50 years. We must remember that we should not take success for granted as we had done much to achieve a successful Singapore today. Every drop makes an ocean and not to think that they are too small to make a difference.

Josiah sick for the first time

Felin called me on Wednesday late afternoon and told me that Josiah seems to have a fever and his breathing seems loud due to his runny nose. I put aside all my work, sent my last email and rushed back home. It was quite a while I last returned home at 6pm. I somehow feel bad that I returned home early only upon hearing that the baby was sick. I sometimes do hope to spend more time talking and singing to the babies day and night like what Mummy is doing now.

As the babies have never been ill before, we were not sure which PD to visit. The one at Elias happened to be closed, the Kidslink chain of clinic at Bedok happened to be closed too. My choice was left with the one at Tampines St 81 for nearby PD.

Josiah wasn't too cranky throughout the visit as we took about 2 hours to end from the time we registered our names in the clinic. Josiah is 5.45kg as of today. We went back home with medication for his Fever, Cough and Phlegm, Runny nose, Cradle Cap, Face fungal infection, etc. It cost me $104 for the whole visit.

The medication was quite confusing and I had to come out with a schedule like this. Some medication is once every 6 hours, some 8 hours and some 12 hours. This is to help Felin to monitor the medication timing.

Josiah can't sleep and drink well because of his runny nose. His breathing is more difficult and very noisy. Because of these, he gets very cranky at night and wake up at the slightest noise. After I fed him at 2am, I passed him over to Felin and when I woke up at 8am, I saw Felin still holding to Josiah. She told me that she did not sleep well last night because of Josiah.

Really feel heartache for Felin that she can't rest well. I can't stay home whole day with her because of work in office. One consolation is that our domestic helper is quite proactive and helped Felin quite a lot in the afternoon. I also hope Josiah's fever and runny nose will recover soon as his breathing difficulties pains me.

Josiah is a brave boy. I know he will recover very soon... I have faith that God is constantly in my family to protect all members in this household. I believe that I am the head of the family and I have the authority to cast whatever illnesses out from this house. I just have to enjoy Parenthood...

8 Life Lessons we can learn from Mr Lee

As I was looking through the web to post picture of Mr Lee in my last blog article, I found an article about "8 lessons we can learn from Mr Lee Kuan Yew". I am not going to write or re-post that article here but I will like to pin it down in today's article so that Joshua, Josiah and of course, myself can learn some life lessons from this great man.

1. It pays to be brilliant
* Described by Time magazine as “a man of great intelligence, with no patience for mediocrity”, Mr Lee Kuan Yew is incredibly brilliant, and it shows in his words and actions. He did very well in school from a young age, studying at Raffles Institution.he eventually attended University of Cambridge, reading law at Fitzwilliam College and graduating with a Double Starred (double First Class Honours). This degree in law eventually led to the start of his life in politics,
* It is important to get your education right and I will encourage you to study not for the degree or the PhD if you ever get it. Instead, learn to apply whatever you had studied and think deep on how it can apply to your daily life.
* To be brilliant will give a good head-start but doesn't guarantee your success. However it is important to this foundation right first. Be patient and learn intensively during this period and apply them towards your bigger dreams.

2. Sometimes you need to make unpopular decisions to reach your goal
* Lee Kuan Yew has been known to take extreme measures to deal with Singapore’s future, but he’s done so only in order to bring Singapore from troubled times to the thriving metropolis it is today. And while some of his actions remain questionable to many, he stands by his actions, because they were what it took to build a nation.
* Let God help you when you are required to make hard decision. Pray and seek his wisdom and ask him to give you the ability to execute it if necessary.
* Be calm and put the facts across tactfully if you need to deal with people affected by your decision.

3. Speak with power
* When you speak, you need to be confident about yourself. Have the end in mind and believe that you can do it.
* You need to speak with power at times to get a message across and let the listener know how passionate and strongly you believe in certain ideas. You can transfer your passion across to the listener.

4. Don’t give a crap what people think
* This doesn't means that you don't listen to what others say and be full of yourself.
* Our focus should be to get the facts right and not spend too much time analysing how other people are thinking. Spend our time and effort on what you believe strongly in.
* As a leader, if we care too much on what everyone is saying, things may never be done. You need to make that decision and be tactful in executing it.

5. To be a respected leader, you have to be a feared one
* Daddy have never been a feared leader. I worked hard on the ground together with colleagues to get things going. I gained their respect through this way and seldom through fear.
* However, I will still say that its good to have a certain level of fear in people you work with because this will ensure they stay on their toes when they work with you. You need to be strict but not necessary use fear all the time.

6. First things first; be a realist
* Lee Kuan Yew has always been a well-known realist. He has openly called Asian superstitions, horoscopes, and fengshui “utter rubbish”, said that love at first sight is a “grave mistake”, and is even a vocal advocate on the topic of hereditary intelligence.
* We need to understand what are facts and myths. We may not believe in certain issues but we need to be tactful in handling with those who strongly believe in them.
* Do not believe if anyone tell you that you can't achieve this or that. Be focused and work towards it if you know its still possible mathematically. Do not give up easily on your dreams and goals.

7. How to be a loyal and devoted husband
* This is something that I'm still working on and I can't say for sure until I enter the grave like Mr Lee but I will need to set good example for both of you.
* Love your wife wholeheartedly and make them better person than before she knows you.

8. Never say die
* It is this never-say-die attitude that has made Mr. Lee’s actions and accomplishments through Singapore’s troubled beginnings memorable.
* Have the end in mind and be proactive. Do read the "7 habits of highly effective people" and apply them to your life. Don't give up that easily in what you believe.
* Do not let others destroy your dreams. You are the author of your dream and no one can take away from you just like that.

Even if both of you read this article 20 years later and I am in my 50s, I will continue to learn what I wrote for both of you here.

A Sad Monday for Singaporeans

Felin woke me up at 6am and told me about the Death of Mr Lee Kuan Yew this morning. I was not entirely shocked because he was already sick in hospital and the Prime Minister Office had updated about his condition worsening on Sunday morning. Though I slept at 3:30am last night to feed both babies, I didn't really feel tired at all while watching Channel News Asia on all the things that Mr Lee had done during his reign over Singapore development.

When I was driving to work in the morning, all the radio stations played only music without songs as a way to grieve for this great man. When I look at the houses around me, I can't stop feeling that without his guidance and policies, we may not be able to enjoy such prosperity and security in this country. I count myself lucky to be born in Singapore to enjoy good education and career today. As I was listening to all the music on the radio channel, my heart was heavy and slightly distracted to the extent that I need to remind myself to drive carefully.

Mr Lee will be in Joshua's and Josiah's future history book and they will learn about him as part of their National Education or Social Studies in future. I just want to tell them how I feel about this man and why they should be grateful for what this man had done.

Mr Lee is a man of vision. His vision was executed with a team of talented people which we called the first generation of Singapore Leaders like Goh Keng Swee, Toh Chin Chye, S. Rajaratnam, etc... He has this unique ability to attract talents and the leadership to drive this talented team towards his vision for the country. He ruled with an iron fist and clamp down dissents such as Lim Chin Siong and the whole Barisan Socialist almost overnight. I will not comment if such deeds was good or bad as I did not live in that era. Probably, what he did back then are necessary for Singapore's future at that time because leaders need to make hard decisions at time. He is certainly a very strong leader.

He believe in Education and National Defense and build up both to be the envy of the world. He industrialised the country, provide good accommodation from the very beginning and everyone prosper from then on, etc...

I truly respect this man and grieve for his family. I will do my part to ensure the future of Singapore are upheld and groom my children to be useful people in the society.

Babies smiling more often nowadays

I think happy babies smile more often and their smile certainly gives us a certain level of satisfaction that both of them are most likely to be happy too. Joshua seems to be able to sleep a stretch of 5 hours and Josiah hit about 4.5hrs lately. Its likely that their REM sleep are reducing and they are able to sleep deeper and longer. Felin and I are feeding Formula milk in the last feed of the day and see how far we can stretch them through the night. We are still targeting at least 12MN to 6am without waking up.

I have been sleeping at 2-3am lately and I went for a Value Investing course early this morning and interestingly, I didn't sleep through the lesson despite having only 4 hours sleep. I reached home at 7pm, had a quick dinner and its playtime with the babies. I have been reaching home after 9pm during the weekdays and I am forbidden to talk to them because it will make them active and refuse to sleep. In my usual playtime, I just kept talking nonsense to them and they will reply me occasionally with their baby language. Its getting a bit more fun nowadays that they will smile and respond. They will also react to our voices and turn their head to look at me. We just started taking lots of pictures.

Routine and Productivity

These are the 2 things that constantly buzzed in my mind recently. The babies are still not accustomed to a routine yet after 9 weeks and we are still trying hard. Heard from some friends that their children can already sleep through the night after 8 weeks and I really marvelled on how they did it. Perhaps my babies are a little bit more difficult. Well. No excuse. I have stopped playing with the kids after I reached home at 10pm and just do my job of feeding and coaxing them to sleep. I will then helped with either the 10-11pm feed and the 1-2am feed. In between is rocking the baby to sleep. I'm trying to let them differentiate Day and Night so that they knew its time to play during day and sleep during night. I am targeting 4 months to let them sleep thru night. Hope we will succeed...

Wrote the below in my facebook today with the attached picture...

The 24 hours shift for the babies. This is only feeding times which took 30 min each. Most of the times they do not sleep after feed and expect attention.

In between their naps, they may need a diapers change or a change of bedsheets due to spilled milk during their sleep, etc.

Wife also need express milk 45 min before each feed. Not forgetting washing and drying the daily stack of babies and own linen plus all the housework including cooking.

Woman, especially Mothers are really great multi-takers and don't complain with that 3-4hrs "combined" sleep per day.

I only support her 4-6 hrs a day after work and I'm already feeling tired.

So what Productivity am I talking about now? Its the day at work for me. I am trying to do my work fast and keep remembering that I have to go feed the babies. I think I may feel quite sad if I am to work so hard and miss their growing up days as a Baby. Its once in a lifetime thingy and their baby like milestones can only be experienced for a short time. I haven't been happy as well because I did not exercise as often as I wanted. I failed to plan my daily routine properly. I have lots of improvement on myself still.

Now, even blogging, I have to keep it short and sweet. I just want to show them what Daddy and Mummy do for them but must not be at expense of Daddy's work in office... Below is the picture of Joshua while I was playing with him this morning. Its not easy to snap a smiling Joshua and I was lucky today.

Somehow difficult

I reached home at 10 pm today after a long day at work. The first thing I heard in the house was the cries of Joshua. He had his last feed at 7:45 and Felin insisted that he shouldn't be hungry that fast. I tried talking to him and coaxing him to sleep. I failed and decided to feed him early instead.

Really not sure if its a good decision because he started crying shortly and that feed took nearly an hour to complete. I only managed to feed about 80ml out of the 100 ml of which about 15 ml was spilled. He refused to sleep and I rocked him in the sarong until 12:30 am I then managed to feed the remaining 20ml.

Its 1:30 am as I wrote this and I am waiting for Josiah to wake up for his feed. I think right after his feed will be Joshua again. Sometimes I think its pretty easy if they drink and sleep. The problem which is giving us the headaches are their refusal to sleep. We knew its not good for babies not to sleep too and hence a bit concerned about it.

Okay and till here first. I am hearing Josiah crying now. The domestic helper will take the 4am shift later...

A rare peaceful night

It is a rare peaceful night that both babies are asleep at 11pm now where I have the chance to turn on my laptop to update my post. It was just last night that both babies slept at nearly 2am even after their 12NM feed. MIL and the domestic helper rested early because they need to wake up for the 3-4am feed. I am quite bleak with the thought that they can sleep through the night for the first 3-4 months before Felin's maternity leave end. I have friends telling me that they succeeded with it after 2-3 months and I currently find it sort of impossible. My babies are always so hungry and once hungry, they cried so loud, especially Joshua.

MIL and the domestic helped fed Josiah with the normal tit lately citing difficulty in feeding him. It resulted in him refusing the Calma tit and we encountered a new problem in latching him directly to Felin. I was not happy with it and insisted that Josiah had no problem with the Calma tit because I was the one feeding him while at Malaysia and I never encounter much problem with it.
Hence, I fed Josiah last night with the Calma tit and he rejected repeatedly. He refused to suck and he cried quite a fair bit. I persisted and took half an hour to complete the 120ml breastmilk. He finally relearned to drink from the Calma tit.

On Sunday, Felin and I went for our first Church service since the babies birth. Really happy to be back in Church, seeing familiar faces and everyone asking how we are. Gerald also showed me his twin boys who just celebrated their 21st birthday and their pictures while they were infant. Wow. That was 21 years ago and he made it... I have to walk that 21 years before reaching his position. How envy...

After service, we dressed the babies up and went MacDonalds for lunch. We also went Giant to do some grocery shopping. Its a good try bringing both babies out but we ended up having to change both their rompers at Giant toliet because both dirtied their shirt while we changed diaper for them.

Its the babies 8th week on Monday and I had taken a picture of both of them. It looks like Josiah is really getting bigger by day. Josiah was so skinny at birth and now he looks much chubbier. He changed really fast. But Joshua is still the one who seems to respond to our conversation better. He also seems to be the usually more difficult baby to deal with. Josiah is really like a baby who can stare blankly the whole day into the air but the problem is he sometimes just refuse to sleep and his eyes can keep open without much blinking for hours, regardless day or night.

Back to Singapore

We came back Singapore on the 1st of March. I unfortunately sprained my back again the night before while trying to take some pictures of the babies. I had to visit the doctor twice during midnight and the early morning because the doctor on duty during midnight is not capable of administering injection for my back problem. I am somehow worried if I can safely play with my boys in future when they get active. Will I sprain my back that easily again? My back problem seems getting more common nowadays... I'd arranged for specialist check on the 5th May this year.

My domestic helper arrived on 1st March as well and so far I find her quite okay. Rather experienced with babies and intelligent. Thank God that we trust on our instinct and decided to engaged her.

We had our family dinner at Mum's place last night due to the last day of Chinese New Year. Everyone had lots of fun with the babies. Both of them are able to respond to those who called them and give some eye contact. Occasionally, they are even able to offer a smile. Everyone are always thrilled to see smile on their faces.

As for the daily routine, we are still struggling to let them sleep longer during the night. Joshua are still giving us the occasional headache as he always refuse to sleep till like 1-2am at night. They still woke up during the night for milk and hence we are still not able to get longer sleep yet. We also gave in and get the Sarong for Joshua as he refused to sleep till 4am on 3rd March. We are really exhausted. I hate the Sarong as my house is small and it take up my Living hall space. My house no longer looks like a decent house with all the 2 baby cots, baby rockers, sarong, toys, etc.

Well. No choice I supposed. I have to give Joshua enough sleep and the Sarong did helped out quite a fair bit over the last 2 days.

Have been busy at work lately since Monday and trying to fill my appointments but I shall continue to keep records of my Jo-Jo milestone regularly... MIL will be with us till next Friday and thereafter, it will be another challenging period if Joshua remains cranky at night and  if we still fail to extend their night feeding schedule.